Kids who refuse to believe that's fruitcake on your breath,
not gin
When the last guy to use the beard leaves bits of his lunch
in it
Even with the costume, people recognizing you from "Crime
Watch"
Parents who get all uptight when you offer their kids a swig
from your hip flask
That billionaire elf from Texas who won't shut up about running
for president
Enduring the taunts of your old buddies from Drama School
Those dorks in the Power Rangers costumes get all the babes
Kids who don't understand that Santa's been a little jittery
since he got back from 'Nam
Constantly being asked, "Is Rudolph gay?"
Two words: lap rash
Rate this joke: 