Instead of cookies and milk, she leaves out a fifth of Scotch and
edible panties.
Comes home with tinsel stuck between her teeth and Claus marks on
her back.
Of the 200 presents for her under the tree, you bought three of
them.
Never very adventuresome in bed, she suddenly asks if you want to
do it "reindeer style."
He comes in late, brushes his teeth furiously, uses floss and
mouthwash for the first time in years, then says, "Well, it looks
like I'm finally getting that train set this year!"
Her picture is prominently featured on santasbitches.com.
Every day after work, elves block you in traffic to keep you from
getting home too early.
She's shaved her pubic hair into the shape of a little chimney.
Tells you that you would look a lot sexier if you grew a beard and
added 150 pounds.
Every December 24th it's the same routine: She puts on a teddy and
sits on the roof.
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