Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
You buy shoes with crepe rubber soles.
The only reason you're still awake at 2 a.m. is indigestion.
People ask you what color your hair used to be.
You enjoy watching the news.
Your car must have four doors.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You have a dream about prunes.
You browse the bran cereal section in the grocery store.
You think a C.D. is a certificate of deposit.
You have more than 2 pair of glasses.
You read the obituaries daily.
Your biggest concern when dancing is falling.
You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.
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