* And the empire of the Great Nerd of the West shall crumble, when the thinking machines are destroyed by two millenniums of insects.
* The Anti-Christ will lose in personal combat with a small purple purse-carrying being with a triangle on its head.
* The Empire of the Right shall be led by a simpleton who knoweth not the spelling of the fruits of the earth.
* Women will take fitness advice from a hyperactive frizzy-haired man of questionable heterosexuality.
* A man made of wood will lead the great nation of the eagle.
* Devastation, fire, sword, pillage befalls the Elephant and the two-faced cow known as Linda.
* In a town known as Slidell, in a place called Louisiana, in a country designated the United States, there will be an eatery referred to as Taco Bell, that will eventually fill a drive-thru order correctly.
* The one-gloved king of the land known as Pop will form an unholy union with a particularly naughty chimpanzee.
* Joy and happiness reign supreme as five billion people realize they'll never again have to listen to a much-despised song by an ex-Prince.
* Cubs win! Cubs win! Cubs win!
* A giant, fiery ball will drop from the skies onto the Square of Times in the New City of York, causing much screaming and wailing.
* As the new millennium approaches, morons will cry out and hoard large quantities of food.
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