What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid extra for a longer fight.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rhinoceros?

The lawyer charges more.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

What's the difference between a lawyer and a computer nerd?

Sooner or later everyone needs a lawyer.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.

What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

What's the difference between a hooker and a lawyer?

A hooker will stop screwing you after you are dead.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.