His Lips Are Moving.

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?

The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.

One juror overheard saying to another..."You'll notice that neither the prosecutor or defense attorney swore to tell the truth!"

If you see a lawyer on bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him?

That might be your bicycle.