Changing lawyers in the middle of a case is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titantic.

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer walking down the street with his hands in his own pockets.

Four out of five doctors say that if they were stranded on a deserted island with no lawyers, they wouldn't need any Tylenol.

Q. How does an attorney sleep?

A. First he lies on one side, and then on the other.

A town too small to support one lawyer can always support two.

What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?

Ten pounds - but that includes the urn.