Tech Support at an ISP

I work at an ISP doing tech support. The most common question I get are
from "hillbilly" callers. Most of them don't know that they are even
connected.... On the bright side a few of them do...only to *sigh*
comment, "I got a really fast connection, but I thought there was so much
more to the Internet than this damn clock."

My favorite has been from former AOL users, "I've been watching this clock
ticking for about an hour and a half and nothing has happened yet!"