An advertising team is working very late at night on a project due the next morning. Suddenly, a Genie appears before them and offers to each of them one wish.

The copywriter says: "I've always dreamed of writing the great American novel and having my work studied in schools across the land. I'd like to go to a tropical island where I can concentrate and write my masterpiece."
The Genie says, "No problem!" and poof! The copywriter is gone.

The art director says: "I want to create a painting so beautiful that it would hang in the Louvre Museum in Paris for all the world to admire. I want to go to the French countryside to work on my painting."
The Genie says, "Your wish is granted!" and poof! The art director is gone.

The Genie then turns to the account executive and says, "And what is your wish?"
The account executive says, "I want those two assholes back here right now."

ONCE upon a time there was a rich zamindar who liked to end his day by taking a bowl of whipped cream malaee before retiring tor the night. He had a servant whose job was to get three annas' worth of malaee from a halwaae every evening. He became suspicious of this servant's honesty and engaged another to keep a watch over the fellow. The two servants came to an understanding. Instead of buying two annas' worth and pocketing one anna, they began to buy one anna's worth for their master and dividing the other two between themselves.
After some days the zamindar smelt collusion and hired a third servant to keep a watch on the other two. This time the three of them came to an understanding whereby they divided the three annas between themselves. At night they smeared their master's moustache with white paint. Next morning the zamindar spoke angrily to his servants, "I got no malaee last night. Why?" The servants protested that he had and showed him a mirror which showed the white on his moustache.
The gist of the episode can be concluded thus.
In the first decade of Independence only 25 per cent of India was corrupt; in the second, 50 per cent; in the third, 75 per cent and in the fourth, 100 per cent. Now we enter the decade when a white smear on the moustache fools the people that they have had their dessert.

YOUNG Sardarji was lying under peepal tree enjoying the cool of the shade unconcerned with the turmoil of the world. A greybeard tried, to persuade hime to be more aware of his duties to society : "You should be doing some work, not wasting your time relaxing under a tree," he said.
"What will I get by working?" asked the young man.
"Money."
"Then what?"
"With the money you can buy a house, marry a nice girl and have children."
"Then what?"
"Educate your children. Set them up in business."
"Then what?"
"You could have your savings, retire and relax."
"That's exactly what I am doing now, relaxing."

12 Things Other Inmates Have Overheard Paris Hilton Say In Jail

 

1. Excuse me, but where is the Starbucks?

2. Is this pork chop and mashed potato stew diet?

3. Could you put those handcuffs on me again? It makes me feel like I’m in my own bed.

4. Wow. This is so like totally not like Daddy’s hotel. Big frown!

5. Can’t I have my dog here with me? He was driving drunk too!

6. Do you have anything else I can wear? This uniform makes me look so non-anorexic.

7. Wait! When I checked “no” about the conjugal visits, it was because I like TOTALLY thought it meant I had to meet with a grammar tutor.

8. Hey, why is there a bed in this disgusting little bathroom? And where is the rest of my cell?

9. You’ll silence Sarah Silverman for how much again?

10. Yes, can you tell me where I book a pedicure and a Brazilian? And would you mind if I brought in my people for it? No offense, but I would never want a stranger to see me down there!

11. Wow, so you’re like a criminal? You’re like the third one I met today!

12. Dear Mr. Diary. I’m going to write three letters to the judge and see if that helps: WTF?