Answering Machine Message Jokes

You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time.
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Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives.
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Beethoven's Fifth:Nobody's home.Why did you phone?Please leave your message here wh
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"Winter Wonderland":Hear the ring, inside our home.Once again, can't get the phone.
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"Camptown Races":I can't come to the telephone; doo-dah, doo-dah.Leave your message when yo
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"The Check is in the Mail" by Weird Al Yankovich:Well hey how you doin'?Have a seat have a drink,
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Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit":Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,No one's here,
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U2's "With or Without You":No one's here to answer the phone,Leave a message at the tone,In Answering Machine Message Jokes

Cheers TV show theme song, "Where Everybody Knows your Name":Sometimes you make a call,Wher
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Meat Loaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love":And I would do anything for calls,I promise I will c
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(Guns & Roses' "Civil War":)What we've got here is...Failure to communicate.Some men you just can't r
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Pink Floyd's "Nobody Home":You have reached 587-8783. Please leave a message.("Ohhhhhhhhh, babe..
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Madonna's "Justify My Love"; sultry voice:Wanting...Waiting...For you,To ju
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Operatic music like Rossini's "Stabbat Matter": Hi, you've reached Hell.(Screams in the background.)We'
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Welcome to the Afterlife Voice Mail System.If you are trying to reach Heaven, please press 1.For Valhal
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Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink.I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave you
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This is a test.This is a test of the Answering Machine
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Next on Public Radio 91 we'll be hearing music of Antonin Dvorak.This is the Beep Serenade in C-Sharp Min
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Hello, you're caller number nine!You are listening to 91.5 FM, KXQK.This is the Canadian Broadcor
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Hi, dudes, this is 229-3053, the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles' secret underground hideaway.I'm afraid we'r
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