One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."

The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."

Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general balle balle' is on.

The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its a marriage baarat. So one of them asks santa singh, "singh saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach raheho?" ...... Comes the reply, "ha ji ! Hai hi baat bade khushi ki !!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar *brain* tumour se mara hai !!!!

Two pandits riding on a cycle were stopped by a Sardarji constable."Don't you know riding on with pillon is forbidden in Punjab?" asked the constable, " I am going to fine you."

The pandits pleaded their innocence of the rules but he refused to let them go. Very exasperated the pandit who was driving the cycle replied, "All right, God is with us. Do what you like." " In that case , I'll fine you for having two on the pillion behind you".

The chief of all sardars in the world, banta singh was addressing all sardars when everyone demanded that he go and find who was responsible for all the sardarji jokes and put an end to all this. Banta singh agreed and said it was about time someone did something about it.

After several months of research banta singh discovered that the person who was writing all the surd jokes was a sardarji called ghanta singh. Banta singh went to ghanta's house and asked him why he wrote all those jokes about sardars showing them as dumb and that he should stop immediately.

Ghanta said, "yes, i enjoy writing them and people like hearing them.

And i will only stop if you can prove that we sardars are intelligent.

Since you are the chief of sardars i will ask you a question. If you answer correctly i will stop writing jokes about sardars.

Otherwise you would have proved we sardars deserve it."

Banta singh agreed. Ghanta asked him, "the question goes like this... I live in my house with two other persons. One is my child who sleeps in one bedroom. In the other bedroom my wife sleeps with the third person. Tell me who is the third person?"

banta singh thought for ten minutes and then gave up, "i dont know this was tough!"

Ghanta singh said, "stupid! I said i live in my house with two other persons... So the answer is the third person is ghanta singh!"

Banta singh agreed and returned disappointed to his followers. They asked him what had happened.

He said, "friends, i think we deserve these jokes, ghanta singh asked me a question and i couldnt answer."

All others asked him what the question was and that they would surely be able to answer it. So banta singh asked them, "i live in my house with two other persons. One is my child who sleeps in one bedroom. In the other bedroom my wife sleeps with the third person. Tell me who is the third person?"

All the sardars thought for several minutes then gave up. Banta singh said, "you see... You're all stupid. I'll give you the answer... The third person is ghanta singh!"

One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had contributed a $1,000 bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation, and said he'd like to personally thank the person who had placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."